Roger's Rating:

This is another one of the movies that AVN nominated for Best Video this year. I've been trying to watch as many of them as I can and I've been trying to do so without falling asleep or laughing too hard at the selections. This one is supposed to be funny and I'm always up for a good sex comedy, especially when April and Kiki D'Aire taking some dick. Director Mike Quasar's job is to make us laugh and still keep the sex hot enough to make us want to beat it now and then. Choosing to spoof the porn industry is a good way to start. After all, what's more ridiculous than porn? It also makes those random sex scenes fit into the script so much better.

Mark Wood and Kiki D'Aire are a couple of down on their luck white trash losers who are strapped for cash. Mark seems to think he's the brains of the operation, but Kiki is the one who suggests that they use a stolen video camera to make nasty home movies. After ten seconds of POV, they fall into a normal sex scene. I don't know who is supposed to filming it at this point, but who cares? Kiki is busy sucking dick and she's really doing a nice job on his thick shaft. We pick up the POV again when she gets on her knees to power suck him deep into he throat. She joins him on the couch, riding his lap and shoving her soft, round ass towards the camera. Mark actually gives the camera to Kiki while he fucks her in missionary. (This is a bad thing because now we see his face and that's never a good thing.) Kiki takes a big load from Mark, covering her face with jizz as she winks us out of the first scene.

Across town, Joel Lawrence is being chewed out by his girlfriend, April. She wants to quit street walking and go back to school. Joel has a plan. We have to wait though because we move again, this time to Ron Jeremy's place. Ron is a big movie star and wants to keep his relationship with porn star Logan LaBrent a secret. He doesn't mind using the video camera to capture their steamy sex sessions though. After she strips, Ron sucks on her big tits and feeds her his long cock. Logan reminds me a little bit of Jewel De'Nyle and handles a big rod quite well. Ron returns the favor, licking her pussy until it's wet enough to handle his prick. Pulling one leg back, she takes him deep. By the time he's in full swing, Ron is pumping every inch of dick into Logan and she's loving it. Check out the doggy with Ron bumping his belly against Logan's ass as he tries to hit bottom. He finally pulls out and shoots onto her boob.

Back to Joel and April who are about to shoot a little porno of their own. She would rather earn money at something that doesn't involve her being flat on her back, but that wouldn't make for a very interesting porn script now would it. After some initial hesitation, the long legged blonde picks up steam as she strips down and shows of her naughty parts for the camera. Joel finds an opening and dives in to lick her clit. Keeping on her shoes, April looks ready for porn stardom as she starts sucking dick. Joel has a big cock, but she takes it down her throat like it's nothing at all. Her pussy also takes his cock quite easily and Joel is happy to do some hard slapping on her tight, young body. Can you believe that April is this cute, isn't all tatted up and has real tits? April takes a load in her mouth just like a good porn star should.

In yet another home in the Valley, Tyce Bune is about to shoot a little girl on girl action. He is the big amateur porn king that everyone has been talking about. His wife is also unaware of his empire, which makes me think things are going to end badly for Tyce. Lexus and Kimi Lixxx both look great in their bikinis, but neither of them stay dressed for very long. After a nice romantic kiss, the girls do some mutual tittie sucking then get down to the serious clam diving. More than just a veggie director, Tyce gets in there and has the girls sucking on his cock. Since there are three of them, it's easy for the girls to take turns shooting the action. The action gets pretty hot as Tyce takes turns fucking these two inviting bikini babes and finally shoots a load for them to share.

When Mark and Joel show up to sell their tapes to Amateur Al, he's not in. (Because he's banging hot chicks.) However, when Logan shows up with a tape of the box office star in the buff, he runs right down to the office. She wants a million bucks for it so Al is going to have to scramble for the cash. At home, he has things to take care of. His wife is home and they spend a nice romantic night between the sheets. Tyce is married to a cute young thing, Sienna, who looks like she could star in one of his movies. After getting blown by porn chicks all day, Tyce is still happy to have his wife sucking on his dick. Her pussy is moist and ready to be entered. I know she's going to be pissed to find out that he's a porn baron, but for now, Sienna is all about giving her man pleasure. Tyce holds her feet in his hands and makes her legs look a wishbone as he gives her everything he's got. Hell, she even gives him the booty, bouncing up and down with that dick in her butt like she's looking to drive it up through her skull. Sienna even takes it on the face like a hot little porn tart.

The plot has some interesting twists here and a very funny punch line. Rather than tell you about it, I'll move to the final sex scene between Calli Cox and Pat Myne. Sure they don't have anything to do with the movie, but Calli always does a nice job sucking dick. Like the opening scene with Wood and Kiki, the lighting is really fucked up in this one. Whoever was in charge of lights on this set needs to go back to school for a bit, or turn on another flashlight. She starts riding his cock and I can't help but notice that Calli is built a lot like Stacy Valentine. She also has good sexual energy, which helps a lot. This would be a better scene if the picture looked better, but you have to like the energy and the nicely shot reverse cowgirl. Like the rest of the babes in this movie, Calli takes it on the face.

There are some funny moments in this movie, but two of the best sex scenes are totally fucked up by bad lighting. I guess AVN doesn't take these things into account when passing out their nominations like Pez. There are some hot sex scenes in this movie that are actually well lit, including trysts with April, Kimi Lixxx and Logan LaBrent. Valley Heat is a nice little porn flick with some genuinely funny moments and decent sex. One of the best of the year? No. Innovative or special in some way? No. Then again, it's all about the sex and for the most part, the heat is there. Valley Heat is a serviceable fuck flick with some cute girls in the cast, some chuckles in the script and two technically shaky scenes.

Copyright © Roger T. Pipe

Posted By Roger, www.excaliburfilms.com | 10/5/06 1:58 PM